Conversation Peices

I’ve always wondered why I don’t feel comfortable in group gatherings. Tonight I visited a place full of people who at least were nominally interesting, but as always I didn’t feel right projecting myself into conversations that could be started in the time/context available. I think the physical relations that bracket encounters in groups (the reason for gathering sometimes stands in the way, or other people, generally the lack of shared space in a standing room only place) prevent me from effectively relaying what I do with a majority of my time. Being caught up in debate, or books, or any number of other things I get caught up in can’t be described under those conditions. Debate is a complex investment of time and academic effort that requires experiencing to understand. The compromised image of the activity that comes out in casual discussion doesn’t capture my passion or any of what I think is interesting about the activity or my time in it. Similarly with books. Literature doesn’t reduce to a discussion piece. I believe it can and should be a jumping off point for developing ideas about lots of things, but it doesn’t translate well into conversation held in a forced/constrained environment. The incongruent investments of time or emotional effort between conversation and the experiences that define my life keep me from feeling at ease in group or party conversation.

Duncan