This is not about progress

Pain has to drive you forward. Loss and the irretrievable nature of communication means that the only way forward is through change and production from the life we experience. Irredentism in time fails –we can’t go back to join ourselves as we’d like to be seen as we’d like to know ourselves. Merely hating the “now what” is hating yourself and everything productive about existence. Being alive is productive, because it changes. Holding on to events that sting like a bitch and squeezing them, discovering every little thing about them that makes it hurt turns you towards a new mode of living that realizes the promise of existence.

This is why marriage is a bad idea – the threats attached to a lifelong bond between two people serves to constantly re-create one form of an ideal relationship between two people, to require that arguments be resolved in such a way that reinforces the marriage as a whole. Everything must come back to making a coercive relationship work ‘as it should’ in a way that subjugates each and every issue to a sustainable relationship for life. We become slaves to our own future. This is why I can’t promise forever to anyone, because creates expectations about my feeling that structure relationships in such a way to deny the dynamic life within it. Affect affect affect.

This is why we can’t sedate ourselves with drugs TV love or otherwise.


Duncan