Back from the dead?

I find myself haunted by sunrise and pursued by sunset. More than anything I’m obsessed by the liminality of my life right now. Something about moving has made me feel ephemeral again, perhaps as if I never even lived here. Now more than ever I realize I have the power to remake my life. I feel as if I should assemble a list of demands, and agenda for the revolutionary vanguard party establishing my new constitution, my new consistencies and complaints. The trouble is that this summer has been as much a starting point as an ending point to itself. So much of what has gone on here has no reference point to the future. At the same time, I know from here I start to rebuild what I see of myself after Georgia, after debate, after I confront so many things which have haunted me for years. In a sense, I feel like this summer will be left behind as a moment of resuscitation – the seconds of blackout after concussion but before leaping back to life.

What I have done this summer. I’ve learned lists help

Rode my bike… a lot, more than ever

Got a job

Rode home at 5 am

Got lunged at by a rabid dog

Read 4 books by Don DeLillo

Drove to Atlanta in a day. Drove back in a day also.

Quit Georgia

Got into NYU

Bought a bike, twice

Sold a bike, twice

Learned how to have conversation

Didn’t do debate work

Felt heartbroken

Watched a sunrise from my street

Didn’t sleep at home a lot

Sweat out all the water in my body, probably 5-6 times

Went swimming in the greenbelt

Felt ambitious

Felt stymied

Became briefly nocturnal

Rode a bike through downtown Atlanta

Ate popsicles

Wandered through my mother’s childhood

Had intense conversations

Forgot

Learned to appreciate style

Fixed bikes

Met lots of interesting people

Lost faith in me

Gained faith in others

Listened to lots of rap music